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Gujarati
wedding ceremonies from western India have their own regional
traditions and customs
that add unique flavour and colour to each ceremony. Gujarati
marriages elevate the woman to become her husband's sadharmacharini,
and are always seen as a partner to him in life's pursuits.
Pre-wedding
Rituals
Mandap Mahurat
This ceremony is undertaken at the outset of most auspicious
events. Hence, the families of the bride and the groom perform
this ceremony in their homes a few days before the wedding.
The families pray to Lord Ganesh, the Hindu God who is believed
to remove all obstacles and seek his divine blessing. A priest
in front of a sacred fire performs the puja.
Griha
Shanti
This is an important puja or prayer session and is conducted
at the bride's home as well as the groom's. A mahurat or auspicious
time is chosen for the puja after matching the horoscopes
of the prospective bride and groom. This ritual springs from
the belief that the stars and constellations exert tremendous
influence on the lives of human beings. Any disturbance in
the stars can cause harm or clashes in the marital relationship
and the lives of the couple. The purpose of the puja is to
bring peace among the stars. A priest conducts the puja for
Griha Shanti with the family members and relatives of the
bride's father participating in the rituals.
Jaan
This is when the groom, along with his family members and
friends leaves his house to go to the temple or marriage hall.
The groom is welcomed by the mother-in-law in a ceremony called
Pokavu (arrival of the groom). She tries to pinch his nose
to remind him playfully that he will have to rub his nose
on the door to ask for her daughter. This gesture symbolises
his humility and understanding of the tremendous sacrifice
that his future wife is about to make. She will, after all,
be leaving behind a life as a daughter, changing her name
and taking on the responsibilities of running his household
as wife and daughter-in-law. The groom's prospective mother-in-law
blesses him and performs a small ritual to ward off the evil
eye. 
After this the Jaimala (exchange of garlands)
takes place. The first Jaimala takes place at the entrance
of the wedding hall, symbolizing the couples' formal acceptance
of each other. The second Jaimala takes place under the mandap
(wedding tent).
Pre-Wedding
Must-Haves
Sacred fire, kalash (a copper vessel) with a coconut, and
an idol of Lord Ganesh for the mandap mahurat.
Pre-Wedding
Must-Knows
The puja for is conducted by a priest with the family members
and relatives of the bride's father participating in the rituals.
For the puja for Griha Shanti, only relatives on the paternal
side can participate in the rituals
Wedding
Rituals
While the groom is sitting under the mandap the 'Madhuparka'
is performed where his feet are washed and he is fed milk
and honey. The bride is then brought to the mandap by her
maternal uncle in a ceremony called Kanyaagaman when the antarpat
is lowered so that the couple again exchanges garlands (2nd
Jaimala).
Now is the time for the bride to be given away in a ritual
known as Kanyadaan or Hasta Milap. Varmala has been added
to the wedding ceremony in which the parents and other relatives
of the bride place an auspicious cord around the necks of
the couple to protect them from evil influences.
Kanya Daan
The wedding rituals are performed in front of a sacred fire
and conducted by the priest. The rituals begin with the kanya
daan, or giving away of the bride. She is given away by her
parents. Their folded hands reflect the hope that their son-in-law
will take good care of their daughter and never cause her
pain. They wash his feet, as they believe that he is none
other than the Hindu Lord, Vishnu, to whom they are handing
over his rightful consort, the Goddess Lakshmi in the form
of their daughter.
Hasta
Milap
In this ritual, the groom's scarf or shawl is tied to the
bride's saree. This knot and the joined hands of the couple
symbolise the union of two souls joined together in holy matrimony.
The priest chants mantras to invoke the blessings of Goddess
Lakshmi and Goddess Parvati for the saubhagyavrata or wife.
The family and relatives present also come together to bless
the couple and shower grains of rice and rose petals on them.
Pheras
The bride's parents partake in milk and refreshments before
the pheras. The pheras or rounds around the sacred fire must
begin now. The couple goes around the fire as the priest chants
mantras. The groom also recites mantras, which express his
heart's desire, and seeks the loving support of his wife.
Unlike many other Hindu weddings,
there are only four pheras called the Mangalpheras (steps
around the sacred fire by the couple) in Gujarati weddings,
where the pheras symbolize the four basic human goals of Dharma,
Artha, Kama and Moksha.
Saptapadi
The saptapadi or seven steps is another important ritual that
makes up the wedding ceremony. The couple must go around the
holy fire seven times. The groom chants mantras with each
step. Through these mantras he seeks his bride's support and
makes a particular request to her with each step. Thus, he
makes seven requests totally. Among these requests are that
his wife take good care of the house, cook wholesome and healthy
meals for their family, be thrifty with money, be an understanding
and supporting partner to him, etc. The bride, on her part,
promises to fulfill these requests.
The Sapta Padi or the seven guidelines (vows)
for married life are then recited by the couple while the
groom helps the bride touch seven betel nuts with her right
toe.
Wedding
Must-Haves
A copper vessel full of water for the kanya daan.
Rice and rose petals for the hasta milap.
Milk and refreshments for the parents before the pheras begin.
Wedding
Must-Knows
The parents of the bride must not eat any food on the day
of the wedding. This makes them pure in mind and body for
the auspicious ceremony of kanya daan.
After the kanya daan ceremony is over and before the pheras
begin, the bride's parents must be served milk and refreshments.
Once the wedding rituals have
been completed, the couple takes blessings from their elders
by touching their feet.
Post-Wedding
Rituals
Reception
The reception is usually held immediately after the wedding.
It is an opportunity for relatives, friends and well-wishers
to bless the newly weds, enjoy a sumptuous meal with them
and give them gifts.
Vidaai
The bride is bid a tearful farewell by her parents, siblings,
relatives and friends. It is a sad moment as she steps into
a palanquin, a specially decorated car, and leaves for her
new home.
After Vidaai or the moment when the parents give away their
daughter, the newly weds return to the groom's house. The
groom's mother then welcomes her daughter-in-law as Ghar-ni-Lakshmi.
Ghar Ni Lakshmi
The bride's first step into her new home is considered auspicious.
She is the Ghar Ni Lakshmi or the goddess Lakshmi, who will
bring wealth and good fortune to her home. Hence, the bride
is welcomed by her mother-in-law who performs a small ritual.
She places a vessel, filled to the brim with rice, at the
entrance of the house. The bride must knock the vessel down
gently with her right foot, spilling some of the rice over.
The rice is a symbol of wealth and by following the ritual
she conveys her full understanding of her duties and responsibilities
towards her new home.
Post-Wedding
Must-Haves
A kalash, an idol of Lord Ganesh and a vessel filled with
rice for the Ghar Ni Lakshmi rite.
Post-Wedding Must-Knows
For the Ghar Ni Lakshmi ritual, the bride must remember to
use her right foot to knock down the vessel containing rice.
Using the left foot is considered inauspicious.
To enjoy the occasion and also appreciate
the significance of the rituals, it is important for the priest
to explain the ceremony as it happens. This would be particularly
important for those guests who are not familiar with Asian
ceremonies and also the younger generation. Therefore, it
is vital to have a priest who understands this and has good
communicative skills. As wedding ceremonies can be quite complicated,
most priests do not expect you to know every ritual and so,
are familiar with explaining them as they happen.
In this section, we have given a general
outline of the rituals. Each community may have differences
in formality you can easily adapt your ceremony according
to yours after discussing with your parents and the priest.
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